From the time I was a little girl, I always wanted kids. I remember offering to babysit for free just so I could spend time with babies. I knew way before I met Jesus that I wanted to adopt. I used to joke that I wanted my family to look like a rainbow, with children from all places and races. It’s funny how God knows your heart long before you find Him. Once I came to know Jesus, of course everything changed, well everything except my heart for adoption. I started learning about trusting my future family completely to God, whether that meant He blessed me with no kids or 20 kids. When I met my now husband, I explained that I wanted a large family and that adoption would be part of that. Basically telling him, that if he wasn’t cool with those things I wasn’t his girl, haha. Well, he stuck around and we got married and started dreaming of when God would bless us with children. We waited and waited and nothing was happening. We began looking into infertility treatments and quickly realized that the cost
was not something we could ever afford. Thankfully, we found out I could be added to my parent’s health insurance, which covered a large portion of treatments, and we were able to begin the process. Anyone who has gone through the process of infertility treatment will tell you that it is a huge test of faith and your marriage. It’s hard and it sucks. Adoption was always there, in the back of my mind. After our first cycle failed and our second cycle ended in miscarriage, I felt the tug to do further research. My husband and I decided to attend a foster care orientation through our county DFACS office. Our hearts broke instantly at the statistics and the stories. At the same time, I felt like God was telling me, trust me, and try one more time. Even though everything in my flesh wanted to say no, I can’t do it again, I can’t be devastated again with loss, we did one more cycle. 4 weeks later we found out our
miracle baby was on the way, something doctors honestly never thought would happen. Praise God!
Fast forward a little bit, and our sweet son was almost 2. We had of course been trying for more kids soon after his birth, but God had other plans. The foster care itch kept coming back into the picture. You know how God sends little hints sometimes. We contacted a local agency and started the process again. Everything went super smooth and within 5 months, we had completed all of our training, home study, and paperwork. We were officially approved as an open foster home on August 3, 2016, my birthday.
We waited around for “the call”, you know the one that changes everything in foster care, when it gets really real, really quick. We finally got a call for a tiny newborn the next week, however even though we said yes, this little girl never joined us. The next week we got a call. 9 month old twin girls, part of a sibling group of 7 kids. We said yes and the chaos began. Those two girls challenged everything about our life. Having 3 kids under 3 is hard, like really hard, and when you factor in the complicated nature of foster care its well hard. We loved those girls for 7 months before they went home to their parents and siblings. We wanted to quit daily during that placement, but God never told us to quit. 2 Corinthians 12:9 became my motto, “ My grace is sufficient for you, and my power is made perfect in weakness.” I was weak alright, worn slap out and needed a break and so did our family. My son and I traveled for a couple weeks to visit my parents and then our family went to the beach. It was a glorious 2 months off, but we felt ready to take our next placement.
May 30, 2017. Ill always remember this day. We got a call at 530pm that a 6 day old baby boy needed a home. I won’t go into his story for coming into care, but he had a rough prenatal start. From the moment that precious boy came into our home, it was different. I cant explain what that feeling is because nothing is like it and I've never felt that again. I held him for the first time and I was done, instantly attached, instantly in love with this precious tiny baby. Our son was completely in love and my husband just melted. We knew this placement was different and anxiously waited to see what God was going to do.
Our plan all along with foster care was that any baby who came into our home that needed a permanent home never had to leave ours. We supported reunification of families but were also fully open to adoption. His case was complicated and frustrating. His birth family’s history was hard to comprehend and left you begging for Jesus to come back and rescue His people some days. We had several court hearings where we prayed and cried for the protection of this child endlessly. We thought we would have to send him home multiple times, but God always moved mountains and he remained with us. This past June, We finally made it to his Termination of Parental Rights trial. For those not into the fostering
world, you get to this point if parents have refused or neglected to be compliant with their case plans and it has been determined that it is not in the best interest of the child to be returned home. We had been told for weeks that the trial would be lengthy and nasty and full of hard stuff. I even got subpoenaed to testify on behalf of baby, scary stuff. We had prayed how to handle the trial with grace, knowing that we wanted to reflect Jesus but also give justice to baby boy. When we arrived, it was the usual trial stuff I won’t go into, but a complete and utter miracle occurred. Baby boy’s parents surrendered their rights and we no longer had to go through with the trial. Complete God sized miracle. After the court hearing finished and papers were signed, we left the court room and found his biological parents in the lobby. I felt like God was telling me, “GO hug her, she needs to know My love” So I did. I
hugged her for what seemed like forever, but I could tell she needed a hug, like a real hug. We love his biological parents because despite their choices, we got the blessing of baby boy because of them. I will forever be able to tell my future son, that his biological parents loved him enough to sign the papers and allow us to raise him. Adoption from foster care is always a bitter sweet concept. Biological parents aren’t choosing adoption for their kids on their own, something tragic has to happen.
That day, my husband and I walked to our car, got in, locked the doors and cried tears of joy. I remember it so vividly. We promptly called our families to tell them they were going to be
grandparents/uncles/aunts again, even though they have been that all along to him, now it was different, now he was never leaving our home. We came home and told our son that his brother was going to stay with us forever; he jumped for joy and told everyone we saw for weeks that his brother was here to stay. Our son was here to stay. The baby we prayed for so earnestly for came to us in the most unconventional way, but the perfect way, God’s way. We still are waiting on that final piece of paper and his name to be changed, but we know he is ours, he always was. We don’t know where God will lead after we finalize his adoption, but we can’t wait to find see. This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the long.