I feel it’s important to explain to you all how my husband and I got to where we are today. I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant with adopted embryo twins. In addition, we are licensed foster parents. How could a person in their mid-thirties not get pregnant on their own? I wish I knew this answer. The truth is, it has taken me lots of time, prayers, tears, and counseling sessions to grieve the loss of my own biological fertility. I think as little girls we play with dolls, play house, and do all the maternal things in preparation to be a mother. We were designed by God to be mothers. I was so angry with God, I’m embarrassed to even tell you all. Devastation was an understatement. Grief consumed me. What choice did I have? I could continue down the depression rabbit hole and ruin everything in my life, including my marriage, or I could search for something more. I had to seek my personal purpose that I was meant to carry out for God. Trust me, this took a lot of work within myself to get to this point. I was destined to fulfill God’s command in Psalm 82:3 “Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.” This was my purpose. There was one piece of scripture that I continue to cling to today - Psalm 27:13-14 “I believe that I shall look upon goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Even in times of sadness I have held this verse tight in my heart. It has brought me through some very dark times. Even today I remind myself, He’s in the waiting.
It is my hope to be as open and raw with you all as much as I can. I strive to uplift women that are beginning their adoption journey, in the waiting to adopt, or have already adopted. My goal is to learn from you all and develop strong adoptive mom and to be adoptive mom bonds.
Much love, Carrie Meadows