I gave birth to my son at nineteen years old with my high school sweetheart being the biological father. I had moved away, he came to visit me, and we planned a pregnancy to bring us back together. Genius, right?
As time went on, we grew apart in different ways, which ultimately led to us splitting up when our son was only two years old. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life after growing up in a divorced household and praying my son would never have to do the same. The one thing I had always wanted for him no matter what, was to grow up in a happy and whole family.
I hadn’t imagined a family with an entirely new dad to my son, but the Universe had other plans. When he was about four and half years old, I met my now husband – which is my son's adopted father. When my husband and I met, I was still allowing visitation with my son’s biological father and didn’t think adoption would ever be in the cards for us, no matter how far our relationship went.
We got married two years later and friends would ask me if, and when my new husband would be adopting him. I always said that would never be able to happen - but I was wrong.
My husband officially adopted my son in May of 2020, after his biological father chose to terminate all of his parental rights. He wasn't responsible enough to be the father my son needed him to be, and thankfully, he realized that and has allowed a man to step in who can be that for my son. It has been a painful, but good thing for our son, and I am now so grateful knowing he will grow up in the household I hoped for him. Not only with a healthy father-figure, but with a man that CHOSE to call him his son for the rest of his life.
My son still misses his biological father, and has anger towards us for him not being in his life in the way he once was. Some days are harder than others, and I am thankful for my husband’s strength on those hard days when our son pushes him away. I hope that he’ll grow up knowing he is special, WANTED, and loved. I hope he grows up seeing the character of his (adopted) dad and emulates those qualities. I hope he watches us raise his half-sister (which we will never call her, she is just his sister to us) and sees no difference in how we love and treat them both.
I know it will not be an easy road ahead. Losing a biological parent effects everyone, whether through adoption or death. I trust that we’ll be able to get through the hard times, though, as the strong, happy family that we are.
Guest Blogger: Catherine Julia
Photography- Tayler-Ashley Photography